Never Too Old to Dream: How I ended up in Cert IV Public Relations

This is the Berlin Wall. This photo shows the East and the West, with the death zone in between. It wasn't until I saw the Berlin wall, last September, that I truly appreciated what freedom we have today and how easily it can be lost.

We are very lucky in Australia. With our recent mineral and housing booms, Perth offers even more opportunity. Yes, things have slowed down, but I am optimistic about our stability and future.

I have been a bit of a lost soul for the past few years. I had become stagnant and not sure what direction my life was heading in. I had obtained the label of mother and housewife and began to feel my indentity was being lost, or did I even have an identity to begin with?

Sometimes life's decisions are directed by circumstance.

When I met my husband, he was young and already successful. He was career driven and knew what direction he was heading in. He was three years younger than me, but he had a maturity about him, and he impressed me with his intelligence and ambition.

I had just returned from Europe. I had a passion for travel and was always very restless and impulsive, unlike the young accountant.

We met at a party, through mutual friends. I was a ballroom dancer, and one of my dancing friends had been doing commerce with Nigel at uni. We were introduced, but I wasn't initially impressed. I had left a boyfriend in Scandanavia, and wasn't interested in a new man.

Over the months, he persevered, and eventually he won my heart. I agreed to marry him two years later, and we have been together ever since..that was 17 years ago.

Life isn't always the way you plan it. We wanted the big house, the nice cars, the family. We wrongly assumed the family would be the easiest of these to achieve. Two years in to that journey, we realised our dreams might not all go to plan.

Anybody who endures infertility knows the pain and confusion that goes with it. You literally put your lives on hold 'just in case'. It's hard to plan holidays, jobs or anything 'in the future'. Suddenly, you don't know what your future is, and your dreams start to look a little tattered.

It was a very difficult time. I was working long hours, with early starts, in a media monitoring company. I enjoyed my work and the people around me, and I thrived on the pace, meeting deadlines, and the unpredictability of it.

I don't want to go in to too much personal detail, but one of the hardest blows for us, was actually getting pregnant, then losing our much wanted baby. The stress of my job was possibly a factor, so we decided it might help if I left.

This was a major turning point in my life and personality. I lost confidence and became withdrawn. I felt like a failure as a woman, I didn't know what to do with my life if I wasn't a mother, and my place in the world became unclear.

Nigel and I sat down and discussed how we would best live our lives without being parents. We had to create new dreams and new direction. We were now 5 years in to our infertility battle.

I had previously worked in marketing and felt that was where I had most enjoyed myself. I saw this as a possible study option and enrolled to study Tourism and Marketing at Edith Cowan.

I don't know if I believe in God, but I do have to wonder who/what dictates our lives. I feel like there's someone controlling our destiny, as sometimes the unexpected happens when you least expect it.

On the day I found out I had been accepted in to Edith Cowan, I found out I was pregnant!

The pregnancy was not an easy one and full of complications. Studying full time was not a sensible idea, and this miracle pregnancy had to take priority. This is something I will never regret, and my son is truly my most wonderful achievement.

I remained at home with Tom, for the first couple of years....years I will forever cherish.

Then came the time for Tom to start school, and for me to find a new way to occupy my time. The employment market had started to boom, and Nigel desperately needed administration staff. I had the skills he needed, he was able to give me flexible working hours, and it really did suit our family.

Women, over the years, often fall in to the habit of putting themselves last. I guess I come from a pretty old fashioned breed where your husband comes first, then you do the best for your children, with your dreams pushed to somewhere in the distant background.

The problem with this is, you eventually become miserable. You tend to feel worthless as a person, you don't feel like you have had any self achievement, and you can get in to a rut where you wonder what more is out there.

I am lucky enough to have great communication in my marriage. Nigel and I don't always understand or agree with each other, but we are pretty good at compromising and working together, which is why we succeeded as a couple, working together in the same practice. We never took our fights to the office, and the rest of the staff have really appreciated this about us.

The fact is, I really don't like the accounting profession. It is certainly reputeable, and I love dealing with clients, but there's no accident that I actually failed this subject in my TEE!

My passion has always been writing. I have been writing mass amounts of material since I was in primary school. I have always had penpals, written poetry, been on bulletin boards since the internet started...pretty much used any vehicle to express myself and share my views. I read extensively, am interested in the world, love travelling and experiencing all I can.

I have been contemplating further studies, for some time now. I couldn't really decide which path would best utilise my current skills, offer some kind of career opportunities and , perhaps most importantly, make me happy.

I spoke to close friends and family, and listened to their suggestions and advice. We looked at a few different options, and all agreed that Public Relations was a good place to start.

Now, just three weeks in to the course, I am so happy this is where I am. I love the lecturers, the other students, the campus and getting up each morning with purpose. My mind is buzzing so much, I can barely sleep at night. I have new ideas, new goals, new dreams, new ambitions and feel alive!

Keith, especially, has been such an inspiration. His energy and passion is contagious, and he makes you want to be the best you can possibly be.

Yes, I may be 40, but I still have the ability to dream and know there is a future out there for me. I don't have obstacles like the Berlin Wall in front of me. The only obstacles I have, are the invisible ones I have placed there myself!