A special moment in time..

It was a wet and cold day.Winter was on its way and I was 33 weeks in to a pregnancy.

The date was April 23,1998. I was booked in to have a routine ultrasound. Today just felt different when I woke up. I just sensed something big was going to happen.

Nigel dressed, as he does every day, in his suit. He was going to join me at the appointment and then go back to work. I looked at him and said, "I don't think you will be needing that suit today."

In the small ultrasound room, Dr Murphy looked concerned, as he moved the gel and paddle around my tummy. I could see the small heart beating, which aleviated some of my worries, but when he hastily left the room, my own heart began to race.

He returned, soon after, with an older doctor. Dr Ferri was the head of the maternity hospital, so I knew something serious was going on.

Dr Ferri placed his hand on my knee and said, "I'm really sorry, your baby isn't growing as well as we would have hoped, so he has to come early."

I don't think I truly appreciated the urgency of the situation when I responded with, "Ok, when will that be?"

I really wasn't prepared when he said, "It's going to happen today...".

I was shocked, Nigel was shocked...a million things go through your head. I was worried about having an early baby with problems, about how I didn't even have my pj's packed or my other necessities, and would Nigel be able to find them?? who should I call? what do I do? I'm not ready for this!!

I was taken to a ward and was prepared for an induction. I had read about these and had vaguely seen something on a video, but never imagined it was something I would be about to experience. I had no idea how it would feel or what was going to happen, remaining terrified for the health of my much wanted unborn baby.

I paediatrician visited me to help ease my fears. He explained the baby was healthy, but had stopped growing because my placenta was not functioning. He said the baby would thrive much better "on the outside". He assured me the baby was in great hands, and that an ambulance was on standby, if we needed to get more specialist care than our hospital could provide.

It was now late in the afternoon. I had been given some sort of gel pessary to help bring on the birth, but was not making any progress. Family members and friends popped in from time to time, while Nigel and I waited patiently.

When the rain stopped, we took a walk around the park, just outside of my room. It was a lovely room that opened on to a patio and cottage gardens.

Nigel and I took the time to walk around the park and talk about names and what was happening...it was all very surreal. We had waited six years to become parents, and were now just hours away from it happening.

Amazingly, at around midnight, I fell asleep! the nurses were in awe, as by now I was having some serious contractions. Every now and again, someone would wake me to check on my progress, but the baby was not budging.

By 11am, there was still no baby, so the decision was made to give me an emergency c-section. I was pretty tired by now, and the baby's heart rate was dipping. He was still too high up in my uterus to even contemplate a natural delivery.

Of course I never wanted a c-section. I had always envisaged a water birth or some other 'natural' form of birthing, but sometimes you have to sacrifice your ideals for the safest outcome.

At 11.30am, my miracle entered the world. I had a baby boy!! we had no idea what we were going to have, even after the multitude of ultrasounds we had had.

I cried as I looked at his little squashed face and saw visions of footballs and cars, not really believing I was finally a mum.

For months, we had argued over calling him 'Sean'. Nigel detested the name, but said I could have whatever name I wanted.

As I shed a tear in the operating theatre, I remember one of the nurses asking me if the baby had a name. I don't know where the words came from, but I came out with ,"Thomas Michael".

Nigel laughed and said, "I don't know where that name came from, but I'm sticking with it!"

He weighed all of 4lb 5 and you could hold him in one hand. His birth announcement card read "A little bit early, a little bit small, but perfect in every way!"